Friday, June 5, 2009

I need a fast!!!

Frustrated....I have been trying to have a fast for the past week and failed :'(
After seeing all these other pro ana bloggings, i figured that if i have a blog of my own i will be more likely to succeed XD
So yea, besides that i am hoping to find supports from other pro ana ^o^
Don't expect me to use any beautiful words, im just going to blog with my raw emotion here.

In my world~ i dont have any or know any pro ana frds
I really hate it when people tell me that i am thin enough and i shouldnt lose anymore weight.
They are just saying it because they r fatter or they just don't see all the fat !
There was this chick that about the same height and weight as me and she was telling me that im in good shape. Fuck her! Ok she's got a slim upper body but she looks like she's got elephant legs! GOD! Don't tell me that im thin enough for looking like her!

Then there's this better times she will say to me...."babe~ u know u r skinny" and i was just like~ NO NO NO NO NO

seriously i need people that can understand me !

i am around 5'3 tall and no idea what my current weight is..
i was doing so well in APRIL limiting my calories to 500 and excercising everyday! reaching lowest 97 lb! but out of no where got all depressed during May and started binging! Now i dont fucken want to go on the scale...Even without going on the scale....I know...i've gained heaps of weight i can feel the fat running through every inch of my body. It makes me want to cry:'(

So please give me strength all the pro ana out there!~

My goal is to reach 85lb by October latest~~ before my birthday ~ it would be the best present i can give to myself <3 and then i will continue to see how much more i can lose XD

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