Temptation

Why can't I stop eating?
Do I want my fat ass back? NO
Do i want to cover myself with baggie clothes to hide my fat? NO
I want to feel beautiful! I am clear with what I want.
SO WHY THE HELL AM I EATING?
I don't get it, sometimes I can just limit myself to calories <500 for whole month
and sometimes i just fucken can't get my mind off FOOD.

I really do want to look skinny....i really do.........so why am i doing this to myself...

I have this friend who i would say...skinny..naturally skinny...and she knows it
She would tell me at times that she wants to get fatter, she wants to put on abit more weight
She's skinny but not scary skinny....

She's about 3inch taller than me but weights close to my weight...
Even at the lowest weight of 97lb...which was about 8lb lighter than her....
When i told her i was finally lighter than her, she looked at me up and down abit
and said "I probably have heavy bones".......
I was speechless....

Secretly in my mind i vow to myself
I WILL one day be so skinny that even this friend of mine will say that I look skinnier than her!

So for that, I should gettin back on track with my weight loss journey